Believe it or not, I am a cancer survivor. The strange thing is that for the longest time, I was embarrassed by that testimony. To the outside person, "WHY?" would be the response to the fact that I was embarrassed by my survival. My response is that the enemy tried to shame me into silence. Not anymore! I am not ashamed of the fact that I have gone through some things but now I am healed, mind, body and spirit.
It started with my sinful life. I was a serial fornicator. That of course means that I was having sex outside of marriage. I thought that because I was only with that one man (to whom I lost my virginity) that it was not as "bad" so I should be ok. I could not be considered "whorish" because I had only been with one person. The problem was that I got so comfortable with him, that we stopped using protection in our sexual life. I was monogamous. He was not.
To sum up our story, he infected me with the HPV virus. Glory to God in the HIGHEST, it was not HIV or any other disease or virus. HPV is a commonly spread STI (Sexually Transmitted Infection). It does not always have symptoms and is only detected in women during a PAP smear. I had no symptoms and was unaware that I was sick.
I discovered my status when I lost my job. I lost my job, which meant I lost my healthcare benefits. I was still sexually active after I became unemployed so I needed birth control pills. I went to Planned Parenthood. In order to get the pills, I had to be examined to ensure I was healthy and not already pregnant, which is how I discovered that I was ill.
I discovered my status when I lost my job. I lost my job, which meant I lost my healthcare benefits. I was still sexually active after I became unemployed so I needed birth control pills. I went to Planned Parenthood. In order to get the pills, I had to be examined to ensure I was healthy and not already pregnant, which is how I discovered that I was ill.
You see, me losing my job saved my life. I did not like losing my job then but now that I see the bigger picture, I give God praise for upsetting my life to save my life! #ThatWillPREACH! Romans 8:28!!! Had I not lost my job, I would not have needed a doctor’s appointment. That means my aggressive cancer would have continued to go undiagnosed and I may have lost my life! THANK YA!!!!
Back to my story: As you may or may not know, HPV is a virus that leads to cervical cancer in women. There are different stands of the virus. Each strand is associated with a number. The lower the number associated with the strand of virus means the lower the chance of cancer. The strands start at number one and they increase by number. As the strand number increases, so does the danger level. Upon testing, I learned that my strand was in the double digits…the danger zone. Basically, this meant that my cervix was more than 50% destroyed and I had either pre-cancerous cells or cancer growing in my cervix.
I was able to find a job within 3 months of the diagnosis so I gained insurance. I immediately went to my regular gynecologist. She analyzed the results from Planned Parenthood and had me come in for a second test. I convinced myself that Planned Parenthood may have made a mistake. I would not accept the facts unless MY doctor told me. Again, the test came back positive. Now I not only had a STD looming over my head but she confirmed cancer in my body! WHAT????
I was a virgin two years prior and was only with one man the entire time. I was saved! I was a “good girl” who loved the Lord. I just struggled with sex. How could this happen to me when there were EXTREMELY loose women out there who got away with their sin with no repercussions (at least in my eyes)? Why me? Why is it that when other women have sex, they get off easy but when I do it, I get stricken with the shame of a STD and now cancer? I said what most anybody would say: "God, this is not fair!"
I got mad at God as though it was His fault. I said that He could have covered me but chose not to therefore I was angry with Him. It was ALL His fault! Ungrateful.com!!! I cried. OMG, I cried and was angry. I could have KILLED my partner! I blamed him as he was much older and I was just beginning to walk into womanhood. I placed the blame on everyone except for myself (IMMATURE!).
I got mad at God as though it was His fault. I said that He could have covered me but chose not to therefore I was angry with Him. It was ALL His fault! Ungrateful.com!!! I cried. OMG, I cried and was angry. I could have KILLED my partner! I blamed him as he was much older and I was just beginning to walk into womanhood. I placed the blame on everyone except for myself (IMMATURE!).
Planned Parenthood previously told me that most likely, IF I were able to conceive at all, I would not be able to hold my child in my body more than at the maximum, 5 months. All of my pregnancies would be high risk and I would have to be on bed rest to keep my child in my body. I would be required to have a C-section to birth my children because if the virus touched a child during childbirth, they could get cancer instantly in their eyes and/or throat. My greatest dream was to be a mother and now that dream was threatened.
After my pity party, my spirit man rose up. I was tired of crying and blaming everyone. I was tired of worrying. I said I would not receive that report from Planned Parenthood OR my OB/GYN. I wanted HEALING! I went to my pastor and told him that they were trying to tell me that I had cancer. He instantly rebuked it! He prayed then looked me in the eye and said, "I don’t care what the doctor says. You shall live and NOT die!"
My faith accepted that. I knew that I was now in the fight of my life and with the help of Christ, I would WIN! I was no longer willing to accept that I was a cancer patient. HPV was NOT an option for me! I would have all of the children that I wanted. My story was NOT going to end like this at the age of 19!!!! Yes, I was 19 when this happened. I was a virgin until I was 17. Two weeks before my 20th birthday, cervical cancer entered my world.
The next day, was the big test to see how "far gone" I was. I told my mother and she came with me. I knew that this was a fight but I had SUCH a sense of peace because I KNEW that I would live and not die! I was smiling. I was happy. I was actually giddy because I knew that it was not over for me. I still had a life to lead and work to do.
I sat on the table in the room as my doctor prepped me for what was to come. She would not even look me in my face. This intimidated me for a BRIEF moment but I chose to shake it off and stay in good cheer. My doctor pulled out diagrams of what my cervix was supposed to look like in my condition. She showed them to my mother but she was blatantly ignoring me. I felt like a criminal at trial when the jury comes back with a guilty verdict and will not look at the defendant. The fear returned to me. I silently began to cry.
I thank God for my momma because she did not judge me. She did not condemn me. She just held my hand and was there for me. I am so grateful that God was there for me spiritually and my mom was there for me naturally so that I was not alone.
The procedure then began. I will spare you the gruesome details but to sum it up, a piece of my cervix had to be removed and sent to a lab. The lab would rate the progression of the cancer cells. I was laying on the table as my doctor was conducting this procedure. I then heard an awkward noise. "Hmm," I heard my doctor say. My mom (being the protector she is) says "What?!"
"I don't see anything!!!" My spirit was now CHARGED with excitement. This was the same doctor who had just pulled out diagrams to explain how destroyed my insides were. Now she was confused because did not see anything that she should have seen for someone in my condition "I think I see a cell but there should be CLUSTERS of cells on the cervix. They are not there."
To be sure, she then takes a scalpel to cut through my cervix to find cells. The word OUCH does not suffice for the pain that I felt. Yet and still, the clusters of cells that she was looking for, she could not find. That chick sliced me for no reason! LOL!!! (Kidding, guys!)
That night, sore and all, I went to choir rehearsal. I did not care about pain. I KNEW that God had healed me and I was going to serve Him, limping and all!!! (That may not have been the wisest thing in the world to do but again, I was just turning 20 years old). Lol! I knew I was healed but I was just waiting for the confirmation from my doctor. She told me that I would hear from her in two weeks.
One week later, I got a phone call. I was not only cancer free but the HPV virus (which is a virus that stays in your blood stream for LIFE) was gone. By HIS stripes, I was completely and 100% healed!!
I give God so much praise because that cancer could have taken me out but He spared me to testify of His goodness! To any woman who reads this, I encourage you to stay on top of your yearly ob/gyn testing and visits. To anyone suffering with cancer, viruses or any other affliction, know that your doctor does not have the last say. God is in complete control and even if you are diagnosed with an ailment, know that Jesus already paid the price for your healing. Just walk in your healing by FAITH. Know that God has your back! I am a WITNESS, chile!
I used to be HORRIBLY embarrassed to tell that testimony simply because my cancer was brought on by my sin (unmarried sex) and also the fact that STD's are a "taboo" subject. The enemy wanted me to feel shame so that I would rob glory from God by not revealing my miraculous healing. The Word tells us that the wages of sin is death and that is what I encountered. What I also encountered was healing and redemption. I am NOT my past. I am NOT what I have been through and I will not be ashamed to tell what transpired because God is glorified! He healed me because I BELIEVED that He would. What a mighty God I serve. Thank You, JESUS!
Never be ashamed of your testimony. You would be amazed at how many people are in similar shoes to yours and shame prevents them from seeking help or has them feeling helpless. Once God removed the shame and I told my testimony, SO MANY WOMEN began to tell me how HPV has affected their lives. I give God praise knowing that He has no favorite children. If He healed me, He will heal anybody!
Tell of God's goodness. Someone needs to hear it!
"They overcame him by the blood of the Lamb and by the word of their testimony..." Revelation 12:11
There is freedom power in your testimony. Tell it!!
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