Yesterday was Oprah's final episode of "The Oprah Winfrey Show". I was not able to watch the show as meteorologist took over my television. There were multiple tornadic wall clouds throughout St. Louis (they dispersed, Glory to God!) so in order to watch the show, I had to watch the 3am replay. I'm not much of a sleeper so this was fine with me.
What I liked....no. What I loved about the final episode was that she gave glory to Jesus. Many people say God but shy away from the name Jesus. It was refreshing to hear her say that. I also enjoyed her teaching life lessons. She spoke on many lessons that inspired a sense of hope. She said a few things that stuck out to me. The first was "You are in control of your life. What your momma did does not control your life. What your daddy did does not control your life. You are in control of your life."
That was profound to me. Of course we know that God is our head and is in control of our lives (sinners and saints alike). That goes without saying. What we must also realize is that God does not override our free will. He has a plan for our lives/destiny but our obedience to His plan is our choice. We make the choice as to what we will do with our lives. Our lives, meaning the decisions we make for our lives, are in our control. There is power in every decision that we make.
What decisions are you making that are benefiting your destiny? Are you making choices that are hindering your progress? If so, it is not too late to change those choices. Do you have bad habits that need to be broken? Break them! You are one determined decision away from living your best life. Use your control and LIVE!
As the final credits started to role, I began to cry. Oprah is inspirational to me, however I was shocked that I was moved to the point of tears by the show ending. It was because it signified an end of an era in my life as a viewer. Where else can I get daily "Aha moments?" Lol! I thought about Oprah and the legacy that she leaves behind for daytime television and humanity as a whole: A legacy of giving and teaching.
I now ask you who are reading this: When you leave this earth, what will your legacy be? Will it be that you were a good Christian? Will it be that you were a giver? Will it be that you were mean? What will people not only say but feel about you when you depart this beautiful journey called 'life'?
Each day that you are living, you are leaving a little piece of you in the world. When you finally leave Earth (by death or rapture) all of those little pieces will be composed to one big picture. That big picture is your legacy. Make the determined decision that you will use everyday to build a legacy that you will be grateful, not fearful and embarrassed, to present before God on judgment day. I'm not just referring to a life that is obedient to the Word of God (though that is of the utmost importance). What I am also referring to in addition to righteous living, is a legacy of loving everybody, a legacy of kindness, a legacy of gentleness, a legacy of giving, a legacy of doing good deeds. What impact are you leaving on our world?
It is never too late to build an awesome, loving legacy. I love the quote "People don't care what you know or remember what you say. They care and remember how you made them feel." Be determined to ensure people feel the love of God every time you walk into a room, open your mouth or even cross the mind of someone else. As humans, we know our moods don't always live up to that. I am a witness myself! What is also true is if you don't put your best foot forward, it is wisdom to fix that experience with the person who did not see your best you. If you are a little short with someone or impatient in the moment, go back and fix it. Apologize.
Life is short. Everyday is a day that we cannot get back. EVERYDAY, you are leaving your imprint on the world. When all is said and done, live a life and let your legacy be so that when you stand before God on judgement day, He PROUDLY says "Well Done! You can come on in!"
Thursday, May 26, 2011
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Tick Tock Goes My Biological Clock
You know, this was SOOO not suppose to be a women's empowerment blog but that seems to be a common theme with me. Anywho...Here's another piece of my heart.
So once again, I do not put a lot of personal information online but know that I am a woman of "a certain age" (Lol!). I have never been married and I do not have children. What I am noticing more and more is that as my age increases year by year, people are becoming more and more questioning of me.
"When are you getting married?" "Isn't it about time that I should be getting an invitation to your wedding?" "It's time for you to settle down!" "What are you waiting on? You ain't getting no younger!" People (mainly older women) BOLDLY make those proclamations to me. I laugh it off because this is my philosophy: "It is better to be single and happy than married and miserable (like majority of the people that are rushing me to the altar are feeling!)" #BOOM
People who have watched me grow up boldly approach my mother asking why am I not married and is there a reason that my I have not yet given birth. I deal with that often but what I hear even more than marriage questions is BABY QUESTIONS!
"When do you plan on having babies?", "You would have such pretty babies! Don't you want them?", "What are you waiting on?" and MY FAVORITE ONE: "You need to hurry up and have babies! You want to be able to enjoy your kids (as if my age determines that!)." My mother is even now outwardly expressing that she is excitedly awaiting the day to obtain the title "Granny!"
I'm sure I am not the only one with family, friends and associates thinking that because you were not married by the time you were 23, you are moving too slow! It's as though people believe that all of the good men will be taken (or gay) if I don't rush and snag one. They also seem to believe that my eggs have an expiration date.
If you are in that same boat, honey you are not alone. Here is my response to ALL of the concern for my pace through life:
Marriage:
Once I'm married, I will be married for good. I want to enjoy my man and our marriage but until GOD, and I mean God (not selfish desires) sends him my way, I will continue to enjoy my life as a single. I do not have to follow the timeline trends of people. I will not rush into a permanent situation to appease the concern of pessimistic thinkers. If it is meant to be, it will be. Please, be seated!
Biological Clock:
If God let Abraham and Sarah have children in their old age, I think I'll be alright. God is the creator of the world, the ruler of time. Time is in His hand and so is my UTERUS, thank you very much! God controls my biological clock and since I am doing things His way and in His timing, I am positive that He is hitting the snooze button for the moment and not unplugging the "clock" altogether. I will have babies in His timing, not others, as I am sure that the same noisy people won't be buying the diapers needed throughout my babies' infancy.
Being single is not a punishment. It is the time to enjoy YOU because once you marry it's no longer a YOU! The two become one. Upon marriage, my concern won't be for ME...it will be for WE! I'm enjoying my singleness as this is the appropriate time to be selfish.
Let nobody rush you through life. Take things slowly at a pace in which you are comfortable. Marriage and childbirth are an important part of your life but don't commit to these things until you are ready. Forget people! People will ALWAYS find a way to criticize you for something in life and if you cave in to it, you will always live your life to please others. Living your life to please people is to live life mentally and spiritually imprisoned. Free yourself!
Your life is not any more or less valuable, depending on your relationship status.
You are not more or less of a woman based upon when or even IF you give birth. Look at Oprah.
Take a listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igCj3jsbcqs
God bless you!
xoxo
Faye.
So once again, I do not put a lot of personal information online but know that I am a woman of "a certain age" (Lol!). I have never been married and I do not have children. What I am noticing more and more is that as my age increases year by year, people are becoming more and more questioning of me.
"When are you getting married?" "Isn't it about time that I should be getting an invitation to your wedding?" "It's time for you to settle down!" "What are you waiting on? You ain't getting no younger!" People (mainly older women) BOLDLY make those proclamations to me. I laugh it off because this is my philosophy: "It is better to be single and happy than married and miserable (like majority of the people that are rushing me to the altar are feeling!)" #BOOM
People who have watched me grow up boldly approach my mother asking why am I not married and is there a reason that my I have not yet given birth. I deal with that often but what I hear even more than marriage questions is BABY QUESTIONS!
"When do you plan on having babies?", "You would have such pretty babies! Don't you want them?", "What are you waiting on?" and MY FAVORITE ONE: "You need to hurry up and have babies! You want to be able to enjoy your kids (as if my age determines that!)." My mother is even now outwardly expressing that she is excitedly awaiting the day to obtain the title "Granny!"
I'm sure I am not the only one with family, friends and associates thinking that because you were not married by the time you were 23, you are moving too slow! It's as though people believe that all of the good men will be taken (or gay) if I don't rush and snag one. They also seem to believe that my eggs have an expiration date.
If you are in that same boat, honey you are not alone. Here is my response to ALL of the concern for my pace through life:
Marriage:
Once I'm married, I will be married for good. I want to enjoy my man and our marriage but until GOD, and I mean God (not selfish desires) sends him my way, I will continue to enjoy my life as a single. I do not have to follow the timeline trends of people. I will not rush into a permanent situation to appease the concern of pessimistic thinkers. If it is meant to be, it will be. Please, be seated!
Biological Clock:
If God let Abraham and Sarah have children in their old age, I think I'll be alright. God is the creator of the world, the ruler of time. Time is in His hand and so is my UTERUS, thank you very much! God controls my biological clock and since I am doing things His way and in His timing, I am positive that He is hitting the snooze button for the moment and not unplugging the "clock" altogether. I will have babies in His timing, not others, as I am sure that the same noisy people won't be buying the diapers needed throughout my babies' infancy.
Being single is not a punishment. It is the time to enjoy YOU because once you marry it's no longer a YOU! The two become one. Upon marriage, my concern won't be for ME...it will be for WE! I'm enjoying my singleness as this is the appropriate time to be selfish.
Let nobody rush you through life. Take things slowly at a pace in which you are comfortable. Marriage and childbirth are an important part of your life but don't commit to these things until you are ready. Forget people! People will ALWAYS find a way to criticize you for something in life and if you cave in to it, you will always live your life to please others. Living your life to please people is to live life mentally and spiritually imprisoned. Free yourself!
Your life is not any more or less valuable, depending on your relationship status.
You are not more or less of a woman based upon when or even IF you give birth. Look at Oprah.
Take a listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igCj3jsbcqs
God bless you!
xoxo
Faye.
Sunday, May 22, 2011
I Forgot to Forget...
"Forgive but don't you ever forget!" How many of you were taught that lesson? *raises my own hand*
Men, you can ease drop on this one. This is for the ladies: After reading this, take time to think about what was said...
WOMEN do not forget ANYTHING! We can forgive but we will always remember. We are emotional creatures and that is a part of our makeup! We are taught to forgive someone but not forget what they did .
I was content with that way of thinking, to forgive but never forget because that is what I was taught to do.Well, I realized that I was so WRONG! I was reading Hebrews 10 and at verse 17 it says "Then He adds: “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more." This thought process came to me: If God Himself forgets what we do when we ask for forgiveness, why can't I forget what people do to me? Why is it necessary to hold on to the memory? Here's the answer: Women do not forget because women have a hard time TRUSTING!!!! When you know the source of a problem (the root) you have the power to change it. So to anyone who is practicing "Forgive, but never forget," Congratulations. You now know that you have a problem trusting people. FIX IT!
I am COMMITTED to changing that behavior. You should, also. I remember watching Gerald and Tammi Haddon discuss marriage on YouTube (the link is below). Gerald said there is NO worse feeling than to argue with his wife and she brings up something that happened more than 10 years ago that she said she forgave him for. This is true in any relationship, not just marriage. It is a HORRIFIC feeling to have messed up, apologize and ask for forgiveness and then have the situation brought back up later on.
In order to have a healthy relationship, you MUST be able to trust your partner. We are humans and we mess up but with the same mercy you want your boo to show you, you must be willing to give it as well. Trust them and if they make a mistake, forgive them and LET IT GO by forgetting and NOT BRINGING IT UP AGAIN! Am I saying be foolish and stay with someone who is regularly hurting you and betraying your trust? NO! But I am saying if you have a jewel that is worth keeping, you must forgive and forget and that comes in trusting.
LEARN TO FORGET!
Watch this video of Gerald and Tammi Haddon (10 years of marriage, Woop Woop!) and listen. Start at 5 minutes and 30 seconds to see what I was referring to....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1HMJNLQclQ
Men, you can ease drop on this one. This is for the ladies: After reading this, take time to think about what was said...
WOMEN do not forget ANYTHING! We can forgive but we will always remember. We are emotional creatures and that is a part of our makeup! We are taught to forgive someone but not forget what they did .
I was content with that way of thinking, to forgive but never forget because that is what I was taught to do.Well, I realized that I was so WRONG! I was reading Hebrews 10 and at verse 17 it says "Then He adds: “Their sins and lawless acts I will remember no more." This thought process came to me: If God Himself forgets what we do when we ask for forgiveness, why can't I forget what people do to me? Why is it necessary to hold on to the memory? Here's the answer: Women do not forget because women have a hard time TRUSTING!!!! When you know the source of a problem (the root) you have the power to change it. So to anyone who is practicing "Forgive, but never forget," Congratulations. You now know that you have a problem trusting people. FIX IT!
I am COMMITTED to changing that behavior. You should, also. I remember watching Gerald and Tammi Haddon discuss marriage on YouTube (the link is below). Gerald said there is NO worse feeling than to argue with his wife and she brings up something that happened more than 10 years ago that she said she forgave him for. This is true in any relationship, not just marriage. It is a HORRIFIC feeling to have messed up, apologize and ask for forgiveness and then have the situation brought back up later on.
In order to have a healthy relationship, you MUST be able to trust your partner. We are humans and we mess up but with the same mercy you want your boo to show you, you must be willing to give it as well. Trust them and if they make a mistake, forgive them and LET IT GO by forgetting and NOT BRINGING IT UP AGAIN! Am I saying be foolish and stay with someone who is regularly hurting you and betraying your trust? NO! But I am saying if you have a jewel that is worth keeping, you must forgive and forget and that comes in trusting.
LEARN TO FORGET!
Watch this video of Gerald and Tammi Haddon (10 years of marriage, Woop Woop!) and listen. Start at 5 minutes and 30 seconds to see what I was referring to....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=W1HMJNLQclQ
Friday, May 20, 2011
Caught Up!
""However, no one knows the day or hour when these things will happen, not even the angels in heaven or the Son himself. Only the Father knows." Matthew 24:36 NLT
*This is going to be another "churchy" blog. Bear with me! :")
May 21, 2011 is tomorrow and unfortunately the world is on alert as Harold Camping has created a mathematical theory that says that at 6pm in whatever part of the world you are in, there will be an earthquake. This is the rapture (so...where is the trumpet sounding and those who died in Christ rising from their sleep? Where is Jesus being seen in the clouds in all of this???). Then by October 2011, God will destroy the entire universe.
This theory irks my very soul and I'm sure that God is not pleased, either. The bible clearly mentions what is suppose to happen during the rapture. Nowhere does Harold Camping even mention Jesus! He just relies on an earthquake going around the world for 24 hours on May 21, 2011. According to him, there is no great tribulation period (7 years) because by October, Earth will be no more.
There are so many holes in his theory that I could elaborate on but I would be typing for a couple hours. Just know this: The bible is right and Harold Camping is WRONG! If Jesus said that ONLY the Father knows, if Harold Camping is not the Father (which he is not), then sadly he is as inaccurate as he was years ago when he predicted that the rapture would happen in September of 1994 (yes, this is his SECOND time predicting the rapture)!
What bothers me with this all is that I feel as though this is giving leeway to secular arenas to make a mockery of the church because of this false prophet! Of course, we can't judge him and I am not. I am just stating a fact and the fact is that Harold Camping is a false prophet and for this sin, he will be held accountable.
This is a perfect example of why you should study the Word for yourself so that you will not be weak prey to falsehood.
(Disclaimer: I don't use the title of "Prophetess" online because I feel like it is the "in thing" for people to have great titles that most of them honestly don't live up to. It is CRAZY to me how many people have these grand titles but bear NO fruit to match. I have the title and truth be told, sometimes I prefer not to have it OR the office/authority, so why people flock to be known as "Prophet, Bishop, Apostle So and So" is BEYOND me! Any REAL prophet can testify that this is NOT a calling that you want because there is a huge price to pay. I treasure my calling but I really don't need the fan fair of a title. Call me Faye. *sorry for that vent just now! LOL! Back to business* I do walk in the office of a prophet so here's a lesson that you must remember about any prophecy-God will NEVER contradict His Word. If what a prophet tells you (God's spoken Word) does not match what the Bible says (God's written Word), throw that "word" away. They lied!).
While my spirit is grieved for the people who have accepted the lie about May 21st to be true and for the people who are using this situation as propaganda as to why you should not believe in the Bible, I rest knowing that God will be glorified. One day the REAL rapture will take place and if I have not yet passed, then I too will be raptured out of here and headed HOME! I just pray that everyone who reads this will be ready as well!
"For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night" 1 Thessalonians 5:2
*This is going to be another "churchy" blog. Bear with me! :")
May 21, 2011 is tomorrow and unfortunately the world is on alert as Harold Camping has created a mathematical theory that says that at 6pm in whatever part of the world you are in, there will be an earthquake. This is the rapture (so...where is the trumpet sounding and those who died in Christ rising from their sleep? Where is Jesus being seen in the clouds in all of this???). Then by October 2011, God will destroy the entire universe.
This theory irks my very soul and I'm sure that God is not pleased, either. The bible clearly mentions what is suppose to happen during the rapture. Nowhere does Harold Camping even mention Jesus! He just relies on an earthquake going around the world for 24 hours on May 21, 2011. According to him, there is no great tribulation period (7 years) because by October, Earth will be no more.
There are so many holes in his theory that I could elaborate on but I would be typing for a couple hours. Just know this: The bible is right and Harold Camping is WRONG! If Jesus said that ONLY the Father knows, if Harold Camping is not the Father (which he is not), then sadly he is as inaccurate as he was years ago when he predicted that the rapture would happen in September of 1994 (yes, this is his SECOND time predicting the rapture)!
What bothers me with this all is that I feel as though this is giving leeway to secular arenas to make a mockery of the church because of this false prophet! Of course, we can't judge him and I am not. I am just stating a fact and the fact is that Harold Camping is a false prophet and for this sin, he will be held accountable.
This is a perfect example of why you should study the Word for yourself so that you will not be weak prey to falsehood.
(Disclaimer: I don't use the title of "Prophetess" online because I feel like it is the "in thing" for people to have great titles that most of them honestly don't live up to. It is CRAZY to me how many people have these grand titles but bear NO fruit to match. I have the title and truth be told, sometimes I prefer not to have it OR the office/authority, so why people flock to be known as "Prophet, Bishop, Apostle So and So" is BEYOND me! Any REAL prophet can testify that this is NOT a calling that you want because there is a huge price to pay. I treasure my calling but I really don't need the fan fair of a title. Call me Faye. *sorry for that vent just now! LOL! Back to business* I do walk in the office of a prophet so here's a lesson that you must remember about any prophecy-God will NEVER contradict His Word. If what a prophet tells you (God's spoken Word) does not match what the Bible says (God's written Word), throw that "word" away. They lied!).
While my spirit is grieved for the people who have accepted the lie about May 21st to be true and for the people who are using this situation as propaganda as to why you should not believe in the Bible, I rest knowing that God will be glorified. One day the REAL rapture will take place and if I have not yet passed, then I too will be raptured out of here and headed HOME! I just pray that everyone who reads this will be ready as well!
"For yourselves know perfectly that the day of the Lord so cometh as a thief in the night" 1 Thessalonians 5:2
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
A "Touchy" Subject (Pun Intended)
"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what [is] that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God" Romans 12:2
*This one will be a little bit more churchy due to the questions I was asked. If you're not quite "there" spiritually, don't worry. You can follow along and still understand. I don't get all deep and philosophical on you! :")
Last night, I took the time to write a blog about celibacy. I prayed about it which is why I wrote it. I got feedback from some people on Twitter and I am grateful for it because that means that the writing was not in vain. I pray that God touches someone through what is said on this page. Well, multiple people questioned about one particular topic that I was led to speak on. That topic is masturbation. While this blog page is not dedicated to sex (or the lack thereof), this blog IS dedicated to being real, honest and uncanny about life's issues affecting us as a people so that we can successfully walk the Christian walk. For so long in the church, there have been issues that need to be discussed and taught about yet they remain swept under a rug due to seeming taboo. The main thing that seems to be taboo in the church is sex.
Believe it or not, there are people in the church who are having sex or struggling to not commit the act and YES, they are saved! There are unmarried Christians who are sexually active. Should they be? NO! Should you be overeating? NO! Should you be on the phone gossiping when the bible specifically tells us to live a quiet life and mind our own business (1 Thess. 4:11)? NO! We cannot judge one another. That's God's job and He does all things well. It is our job to tell the truth in love including on the subject of sex. For those who are having sex and are YET saved, as their love for God begins to increase and their self-discipline increases, they will let go of the sin. Until they can successfully live a life free of fornication, they still need help in the "right now" of dealing with those sexual desires as they mature to the place of being able to control their flesh. Before you look down on those who are sexually active, remember "And such were some of you!" (1 Corinthians 6:11).
I personally realize that we do not know what we are not taught and many spiritual leaders are not teaching on how to be "Successfully Saved and Single" as many of our leaders do not know what it is like to be an adult who has to go years without being sexually active or without a romantic companion at all (dating). We are to help one another, so somebody needs to drop their fear of public scrutiny and speak the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help them God (and I ain't NEVA scurred [scared]! I'm SO St. Louis Lol!)
Well, the question posed was "Are unmarried Christians allowed to masturbate to help them get through their "singleness" without fornicating and of course can I back up the answer with the word of God". Ok...well here goes!
What does the bible say about masturbation?
Nothing. Next question please? (lol!)
Since the bible does not address it, can an unmarried Christian masturbate and it not be a sin?
This is a touchy subject. Well...the bible does not say anything about pornography nor smoking cigarettes either. Let's not focus on what the bible does not say and focus on applying what it does say to this subject. Here are some scriptures to look at:
"Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart" 2 Timothy 2:22
"Dearly beloved, I beseech [you] as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;" 1Peter 2:11
"[This] I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh." Galatians 5:16
So the question is:
What is lust? According to Strong's Concordance (Greek, 1939 entry), lust is a longing especially for what's forbidden; Are you LONGING for something that you can't have (sex, food, money, a spouse, etc.)? Congratulations. You are lusting for it. #FACT.
Masturbation is used (by yourself) to achieve sexual satisfaction at that moment. That moment is brought upon by lust (longing for sexual activity that you cannot have). In that moment, you are lusting for sex. Now, those who are unmarried should not be having ANY sexual contact. Therefore, I conclude that to commit a sexual act (masturbating) in order to receive sexual gratification brought upon by lustful feelings is indeed a sin. In 5 words or less, "Masturbation is a sin."
If you do not agree, I would suggest that you contact a spiritual leader in whom you can trust about this subject and ask for a second opinion. I'm licensed...but I'm not your spiritual mother. You are not under my spiritual leadership so if you have a question, you should always feel free to ask someone else (my feelings won't be hurt! Lol! I actually will be happy because those who are spiritually mature do not just take the word (opinion) of someone else...they research the Word for themselves!)
I practice what I preach so I will put it out there for clarification...NO, I don't do "it"! Thank you very much! LOL! Remember in the previous blog, I said that I threw stuff out of frustration in a "moment" a while ago. Yep, that's why I threw it! Could that (me throwing out of anger) be a sin in that moment? Yes, because I had sinful desires in my heart and I was angry that I could not fulfil the lust of the flesh but all I can do is be honest. In that moment, I was desiring for something that I could not have and instead of getting the thought out of my head and moving on (2 Cor 10:5, Phil 2:5), I chose to get angry and start throwing stuff! LOL!!! I repented, saints. I know better now. :")
Anyway, that was my two cents on the topic and again, if you disagree with what I have concluded based upon scriptures, ask a spiritual leader in whom you can trust that will not be too shy to answer.
Love you guys! Agape!
"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, [which is] your reasonable service." Romans 12:1
*This one will be a little bit more churchy due to the questions I was asked. If you're not quite "there" spiritually, don't worry. You can follow along and still understand. I don't get all deep and philosophical on you! :")
Last night, I took the time to write a blog about celibacy. I prayed about it which is why I wrote it. I got feedback from some people on Twitter and I am grateful for it because that means that the writing was not in vain. I pray that God touches someone through what is said on this page. Well, multiple people questioned about one particular topic that I was led to speak on. That topic is masturbation. While this blog page is not dedicated to sex (or the lack thereof), this blog IS dedicated to being real, honest and uncanny about life's issues affecting us as a people so that we can successfully walk the Christian walk. For so long in the church, there have been issues that need to be discussed and taught about yet they remain swept under a rug due to seeming taboo. The main thing that seems to be taboo in the church is sex.
Believe it or not, there are people in the church who are having sex or struggling to not commit the act and YES, they are saved! There are unmarried Christians who are sexually active. Should they be? NO! Should you be overeating? NO! Should you be on the phone gossiping when the bible specifically tells us to live a quiet life and mind our own business (1 Thess. 4:11)? NO! We cannot judge one another. That's God's job and He does all things well. It is our job to tell the truth in love including on the subject of sex. For those who are having sex and are YET saved, as their love for God begins to increase and their self-discipline increases, they will let go of the sin. Until they can successfully live a life free of fornication, they still need help in the "right now" of dealing with those sexual desires as they mature to the place of being able to control their flesh. Before you look down on those who are sexually active, remember "And such were some of you!" (1 Corinthians 6:11).
I personally realize that we do not know what we are not taught and many spiritual leaders are not teaching on how to be "Successfully Saved and Single" as many of our leaders do not know what it is like to be an adult who has to go years without being sexually active or without a romantic companion at all (dating). We are to help one another, so somebody needs to drop their fear of public scrutiny and speak the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help them God (and I ain't NEVA scurred [scared]! I'm SO St. Louis Lol!)
Well, the question posed was "Are unmarried Christians allowed to masturbate to help them get through their "singleness" without fornicating and of course can I back up the answer with the word of God". Ok...well here goes!
What does the bible say about masturbation?
Nothing. Next question please? (lol!)
Since the bible does not address it, can an unmarried Christian masturbate and it not be a sin?
This is a touchy subject. Well...the bible does not say anything about pornography nor smoking cigarettes either. Let's not focus on what the bible does not say and focus on applying what it does say to this subject. Here are some scriptures to look at:
"Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart" 2 Timothy 2:22
"Dearly beloved, I beseech [you] as strangers and pilgrims, abstain from fleshly lusts, which war against the soul;" 1Peter 2:11
"[This] I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfil the lust of the flesh." Galatians 5:16
So the question is:
What is lust? According to Strong's Concordance (Greek, 1939 entry), lust is a longing especially for what's forbidden; Are you LONGING for something that you can't have (sex, food, money, a spouse, etc.)? Congratulations. You are lusting for it. #FACT.
Masturbation is used (by yourself) to achieve sexual satisfaction at that moment. That moment is brought upon by lust (longing for sexual activity that you cannot have). In that moment, you are lusting for sex. Now, those who are unmarried should not be having ANY sexual contact. Therefore, I conclude that to commit a sexual act (masturbating) in order to receive sexual gratification brought upon by lustful feelings is indeed a sin. In 5 words or less, "Masturbation is a sin."
If you do not agree, I would suggest that you contact a spiritual leader in whom you can trust about this subject and ask for a second opinion. I'm licensed...but I'm not your spiritual mother. You are not under my spiritual leadership so if you have a question, you should always feel free to ask someone else (my feelings won't be hurt! Lol! I actually will be happy because those who are spiritually mature do not just take the word (opinion) of someone else...they research the Word for themselves!)
I practice what I preach so I will put it out there for clarification...NO, I don't do "it"! Thank you very much! LOL! Remember in the previous blog, I said that I threw stuff out of frustration in a "moment" a while ago. Yep, that's why I threw it! Could that (me throwing out of anger) be a sin in that moment? Yes, because I had sinful desires in my heart and I was angry that I could not fulfil the lust of the flesh but all I can do is be honest. In that moment, I was desiring for something that I could not have and instead of getting the thought out of my head and moving on (2 Cor 10:5, Phil 2:5), I chose to get angry and start throwing stuff! LOL!!! I repented, saints. I know better now. :")
Anyway, that was my two cents on the topic and again, if you disagree with what I have concluded based upon scriptures, ask a spiritual leader in whom you can trust that will not be too shy to answer.
Love you guys! Agape!
"I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, [which is] your reasonable service." Romans 12:1
The Real McCoy (Let's Talk Sex...)
*Disclaimer: Although I am a minister, this posting is not limited just to Christians. This is for anybody.
I started blogging in January of 2011 but I found myself getting distracted. I didn't stick to it so I shut the page down. Recently, it has been on my heart to start back blogging. I actively began to tweet with a purpose on Twitter (I'm sure I will cover that later) and there are times when there is so much that I want to say that 140 just is not enough space to get it out. To avoid "rapid fire" tweeting and annoying people by filling up their time lines, it was on my heart to get back to blogging. I love writing so this should be interesting.
Sunday, before service, it was on my heart to speak about celibacy. That Thursday evening prior, I watched an episode of "LisaRaye: The Real McCoy" on TvOne. In the episode of her reality show, she was on a spiritual journey to get closer to God after much time away. The journey led her to "Woman Thou Art Loosed" with Bishop Jakes. Before service, she spoke with the beautiful First Lady Serita Jakes and she was presented the opportunity to have a "girlfriend's chat" in which she could asked any questions that she had. One of her concerns about her journey was concerning celibacy. She voiced "I want to have sex!". First Lady Jakes gave the cutest response ever. She simply stated "Well, you're just going to have to put a cap on that, precious." Hi-freaking-larious but so true.
Now, we all know that the bible teaches against fornication which is the participation in sexual activity outside of the covenant of marriage. According to the bible, since LisaRaye is no longer married, for her to have sex right now would be a sin, which was her concern. She is an unmarried Christian...who is struggling with celibacy. This issue was in my spirit on Sunday. I began to tweet about it yet because I was in the sanctuary and service was beginning in 10 minutes, I could not go into depth about it. I did two tweets and they said:
"#Celibacy is not easy especially when you've had good sex before (YES, I SAID IT!!!) but it's possible and extremely rewarding. #ImAWitness".
A beautiful woman responded to that, saying that she wanted to try celibacy but that she knew that it would not be easy. I, of course responded to her but did not go into details because again, service was about to start and I don't tweet in during service (And neither should you. We can all shut down the outside world for an hour or two to honor God...GRRR! Lol).
While watching Oprah the other day, she was reviewing footage from the past. In one particular episode, a young woman was battling anorexia. Oprah has someone on the show who had beaten the disorder to talk to the young woman. The survivor was coaching the young woman and saying that she had to conqueror the illness with her mind beginning with her thoughts. The woman responded saying "I can't do it. I don't know." The survivor responded with some generic, politically correct answer but did not give her a step by step response with instructions, detailing how to defeat anorexia. She did not teach her what she had learned. The young woman unfortunately lost her battle to the disease and died. Oprah in turn said that was a paradigm shift for her, letting her know that you can't just tell people what to do but to be successful in helping someone, you must teach them how to do what must be done to help them. Now back to sex, or the lack thereof. :")
It is easy to tell someone that because they are not married that they should not be having sex but how many people, ESPECIALLY IN THE CHURCH, are teaching people how to be successfully celibate? I know from personal experience feeling like "Don't tell me not to have sex but yet you never have been in this position!" as most of our pastors and spiritual leaders are married. It's hard for me to listen to you tell me not to do the do when you go home to a warm body in your bed and have never gone YEARS without sex before. It's nearly impossible to teach someone about something that you have never been through. I personally have not been taught how to successfully be in this position of abstaining until marriage to give my body away by someone who has successfully done it.
Let me start by saying that while I do NOT put much personal information online because there are some very SPECIAL people in the world, I will say this. If you are not married, you are single, therefore I am single. Period. I also am not sexually active. I have been celibate for 2 years come June of 2011. Before that, I was celibate but "slipped up" one time in that year and the same for the year before that. So in all actuality, come June 1, it will mean in 4 years, I have had sex 2 times. I had a pattern of "falling" once a year. *Kanye Shrug* but I have overcome that. (shondo bo sha ta ya! Lol)
Why am I celibate:
My PERSONAL reason for being celibate is because I am not married and I know that God views it as a sin. I choose to honor God and my future husband by disciplining my body and protecting my virtue until I am married.
Is it hard to go without sex:
Is the sky blue? You gosh darn right it is hard...sometimes! It is not easy to go without sex. What benefits me though is my relationship with God. Because of the Holy Spirit, I am able to abstain because I have that help from Him! That is why if you are not in a loving relationship with the Father, I encourage you to develop one. I know to go from having an active sex life that I enjoyed to going without it at all would be impossible if God was not with me!
How To Be Successfully Celibate:
Every person is different so your coping may be different than mine. I will not be "spiritually deep" here because that is not realistic. I will be as honest as I can. Some days are better than others meaning some days are not a problem at all (thanks to the grace of God) but on other days, that good ole flesh with act up and you will be incredibly tempted. I go periods of time where I am just good! Sex is not even on my mind for months on end then a season of testing my faithfulness to God will come where almost every day is a struggle. I remember one particularly day that I was battling my flesh and instead of just moving on from that particular moment, I got angry. I said I was tired of fighting NATURAL DESIRES* and I picked something up and THREW IT! Lol!!! (I PROMISE I try to be as real as possible at all times. No sugar coating around these parts!)
(*Sex is a natural part of life. It is natural to desire sex. If you NEVER want to have sex EVER and you are an adult....something is not normal. Either your hormones are unbalanced or your are lying to yourself! Either way, get it together)
On those days I advise you to pray and if you are able to, fast. Now let's be real. There have been days when I will pray and that mood will lift from me if not immediately, then soon after prayer. On other days, however, I have said "I don't want to pray about this! I'm sick of this". We live in a very sexually driven world so it is really in your face all the time. When I am in that state of mind, I find something to do! Go workout. Read something. Study the bible. Call a friend (to TALK!!! *sideeye* Lol!). Do something to ensure that you don't have that idle time on your hand to consider what you are not allowed to have or do. In moments of weakness, instead of thinking of what you are "denying" yourself, meditate on what you are waiting for. Give yourself pep talks reminding yourself that your future is worth waiting on. Do whatever it takes to get out of that mindset (thought process) that is causing you to feel "frustrated" or "tempted". Last but not least, ignore the desire! If you ignore the desire for anything long enough, it will go away (James 4:7). Also, take it one day at a time. If you are looking into the future, it will feel like you will never be able to have that "release". Don't think in terms of the future. Think about just making it through the day and IF you fall, don't beat yourself up. Pray, repent to God about it and move on being celibate!
Celibacy is not easy in this extremely sexually driven world, especially if you have been sexually active before and have given it up. It takes much needed discipline. What I will say to you is that even though it is not easy, it is so totally worth it to remain pure until you are blessed with your spouse. You are a gift to the world and anyone who is not willing to become "One Flesh" with you before God (the union of marriage) is not worthy of becoming "one flesh" with you in the bedroom (sex). Don't sale yourself short of your permanent blessing to satisfy a short-term desire.
Well, that's enough from me. You are worth being waited for and so is your spouse. Celibacy is not easy all the time but it is a beautiful journey of self discovery and it brings clarity to your life. By abstaining from sex outside of marriage, you leave room for God to bless you with "The Real McCoy" (Your God ordained spouse) and that alone will bless the entire course of the rest of your life. I pray God's best for you and much success to everything you do...including remaining sexually pure until marriage. Smile, ya'll! *xoxo*
I started blogging in January of 2011 but I found myself getting distracted. I didn't stick to it so I shut the page down. Recently, it has been on my heart to start back blogging. I actively began to tweet with a purpose on Twitter (I'm sure I will cover that later) and there are times when there is so much that I want to say that 140 just is not enough space to get it out. To avoid "rapid fire" tweeting and annoying people by filling up their time lines, it was on my heart to get back to blogging. I love writing so this should be interesting.
Sunday, before service, it was on my heart to speak about celibacy. That Thursday evening prior, I watched an episode of "LisaRaye: The Real McCoy" on TvOne. In the episode of her reality show, she was on a spiritual journey to get closer to God after much time away. The journey led her to "Woman Thou Art Loosed" with Bishop Jakes. Before service, she spoke with the beautiful First Lady Serita Jakes and she was presented the opportunity to have a "girlfriend's chat" in which she could asked any questions that she had. One of her concerns about her journey was concerning celibacy. She voiced "I want to have sex!". First Lady Jakes gave the cutest response ever. She simply stated "Well, you're just going to have to put a cap on that, precious." Hi-freaking-larious but so true.
Now, we all know that the bible teaches against fornication which is the participation in sexual activity outside of the covenant of marriage. According to the bible, since LisaRaye is no longer married, for her to have sex right now would be a sin, which was her concern. She is an unmarried Christian...who is struggling with celibacy. This issue was in my spirit on Sunday. I began to tweet about it yet because I was in the sanctuary and service was beginning in 10 minutes, I could not go into depth about it. I did two tweets and they said:
"#Celibacy is not easy especially when you've had good sex before (YES, I SAID IT!!!) but it's possible and extremely rewarding. #ImAWitness".
A beautiful woman responded to that, saying that she wanted to try celibacy but that she knew that it would not be easy. I, of course responded to her but did not go into details because again, service was about to start and I don't tweet in during service (And neither should you. We can all shut down the outside world for an hour or two to honor God...GRRR! Lol).
While watching Oprah the other day, she was reviewing footage from the past. In one particular episode, a young woman was battling anorexia. Oprah has someone on the show who had beaten the disorder to talk to the young woman. The survivor was coaching the young woman and saying that she had to conqueror the illness with her mind beginning with her thoughts. The woman responded saying "I can't do it. I don't know." The survivor responded with some generic, politically correct answer but did not give her a step by step response with instructions, detailing how to defeat anorexia. She did not teach her what she had learned. The young woman unfortunately lost her battle to the disease and died. Oprah in turn said that was a paradigm shift for her, letting her know that you can't just tell people what to do but to be successful in helping someone, you must teach them how to do what must be done to help them. Now back to sex, or the lack thereof. :")
It is easy to tell someone that because they are not married that they should not be having sex but how many people, ESPECIALLY IN THE CHURCH, are teaching people how to be successfully celibate? I know from personal experience feeling like "Don't tell me not to have sex but yet you never have been in this position!" as most of our pastors and spiritual leaders are married. It's hard for me to listen to you tell me not to do the do when you go home to a warm body in your bed and have never gone YEARS without sex before. It's nearly impossible to teach someone about something that you have never been through. I personally have not been taught how to successfully be in this position of abstaining until marriage to give my body away by someone who has successfully done it.
Let me start by saying that while I do NOT put much personal information online because there are some very SPECIAL people in the world, I will say this. If you are not married, you are single, therefore I am single. Period. I also am not sexually active. I have been celibate for 2 years come June of 2011. Before that, I was celibate but "slipped up" one time in that year and the same for the year before that. So in all actuality, come June 1, it will mean in 4 years, I have had sex 2 times. I had a pattern of "falling" once a year. *Kanye Shrug* but I have overcome that. (shondo bo sha ta ya! Lol)
Why am I celibate:
My PERSONAL reason for being celibate is because I am not married and I know that God views it as a sin. I choose to honor God and my future husband by disciplining my body and protecting my virtue until I am married.
Is it hard to go without sex:
Is the sky blue? You gosh darn right it is hard...sometimes! It is not easy to go without sex. What benefits me though is my relationship with God. Because of the Holy Spirit, I am able to abstain because I have that help from Him! That is why if you are not in a loving relationship with the Father, I encourage you to develop one. I know to go from having an active sex life that I enjoyed to going without it at all would be impossible if God was not with me!
How To Be Successfully Celibate:
Every person is different so your coping may be different than mine. I will not be "spiritually deep" here because that is not realistic. I will be as honest as I can. Some days are better than others meaning some days are not a problem at all (thanks to the grace of God) but on other days, that good ole flesh with act up and you will be incredibly tempted. I go periods of time where I am just good! Sex is not even on my mind for months on end then a season of testing my faithfulness to God will come where almost every day is a struggle. I remember one particularly day that I was battling my flesh and instead of just moving on from that particular moment, I got angry. I said I was tired of fighting NATURAL DESIRES* and I picked something up and THREW IT! Lol!!! (I PROMISE I try to be as real as possible at all times. No sugar coating around these parts!)
(*Sex is a natural part of life. It is natural to desire sex. If you NEVER want to have sex EVER and you are an adult....something is not normal. Either your hormones are unbalanced or your are lying to yourself! Either way, get it together)
On those days I advise you to pray and if you are able to, fast. Now let's be real. There have been days when I will pray and that mood will lift from me if not immediately, then soon after prayer. On other days, however, I have said "I don't want to pray about this! I'm sick of this". We live in a very sexually driven world so it is really in your face all the time. When I am in that state of mind, I find something to do! Go workout. Read something. Study the bible. Call a friend (to TALK!!! *sideeye* Lol!). Do something to ensure that you don't have that idle time on your hand to consider what you are not allowed to have or do. In moments of weakness, instead of thinking of what you are "denying" yourself, meditate on what you are waiting for. Give yourself pep talks reminding yourself that your future is worth waiting on. Do whatever it takes to get out of that mindset (thought process) that is causing you to feel "frustrated" or "tempted". Last but not least, ignore the desire! If you ignore the desire for anything long enough, it will go away (James 4:7). Also, take it one day at a time. If you are looking into the future, it will feel like you will never be able to have that "release". Don't think in terms of the future. Think about just making it through the day and IF you fall, don't beat yourself up. Pray, repent to God about it and move on being celibate!
Celibacy is not easy in this extremely sexually driven world, especially if you have been sexually active before and have given it up. It takes much needed discipline. What I will say to you is that even though it is not easy, it is so totally worth it to remain pure until you are blessed with your spouse. You are a gift to the world and anyone who is not willing to become "One Flesh" with you before God (the union of marriage) is not worthy of becoming "one flesh" with you in the bedroom (sex). Don't sale yourself short of your permanent blessing to satisfy a short-term desire.
Well, that's enough from me. You are worth being waited for and so is your spouse. Celibacy is not easy all the time but it is a beautiful journey of self discovery and it brings clarity to your life. By abstaining from sex outside of marriage, you leave room for God to bless you with "The Real McCoy" (Your God ordained spouse) and that alone will bless the entire course of the rest of your life. I pray God's best for you and much success to everything you do...including remaining sexually pure until marriage. Smile, ya'll! *xoxo*
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