You know, this was SOOO not suppose to be a women's empowerment blog but that seems to be a common theme with me. Anywho...Here's another piece of my heart.
So once again, I do not put a lot of personal information online but know that I am a woman of "a certain age" (Lol!). I have never been married and I do not have children. What I am noticing more and more is that as my age increases year by year, people are becoming more and more questioning of me.
"When are you getting married?" "Isn't it about time that I should be getting an invitation to your wedding?" "It's time for you to settle down!" "What are you waiting on? You ain't getting no younger!" People (mainly older women) BOLDLY make those proclamations to me. I laugh it off because this is my philosophy: "It is better to be single and happy than married and miserable (like majority of the people that are rushing me to the altar are feeling!)" #BOOM
People who have watched me grow up boldly approach my mother asking why am I not married and is there a reason that my I have not yet given birth. I deal with that often but what I hear even more than marriage questions is BABY QUESTIONS!
"When do you plan on having babies?", "You would have such pretty babies! Don't you want them?", "What are you waiting on?" and MY FAVORITE ONE: "You need to hurry up and have babies! You want to be able to enjoy your kids (as if my age determines that!)." My mother is even now outwardly expressing that she is excitedly awaiting the day to obtain the title "Granny!"
I'm sure I am not the only one with family, friends and associates thinking that because you were not married by the time you were 23, you are moving too slow! It's as though people believe that all of the good men will be taken (or gay) if I don't rush and snag one. They also seem to believe that my eggs have an expiration date.
If you are in that same boat, honey you are not alone. Here is my response to ALL of the concern for my pace through life:
Marriage:
Once I'm married, I will be married for good. I want to enjoy my man and our marriage but until GOD, and I mean God (not selfish desires) sends him my way, I will continue to enjoy my life as a single. I do not have to follow the timeline trends of people. I will not rush into a permanent situation to appease the concern of pessimistic thinkers. If it is meant to be, it will be. Please, be seated!
Biological Clock:
If God let Abraham and Sarah have children in their old age, I think I'll be alright. God is the creator of the world, the ruler of time. Time is in His hand and so is my UTERUS, thank you very much! God controls my biological clock and since I am doing things His way and in His timing, I am positive that He is hitting the snooze button for the moment and not unplugging the "clock" altogether. I will have babies in His timing, not others, as I am sure that the same noisy people won't be buying the diapers needed throughout my babies' infancy.
Being single is not a punishment. It is the time to enjoy YOU because once you marry it's no longer a YOU! The two become one. Upon marriage, my concern won't be for ME...it will be for WE! I'm enjoying my singleness as this is the appropriate time to be selfish.
Let nobody rush you through life. Take things slowly at a pace in which you are comfortable. Marriage and childbirth are an important part of your life but don't commit to these things until you are ready. Forget people! People will ALWAYS find a way to criticize you for something in life and if you cave in to it, you will always live your life to please others. Living your life to please people is to live life mentally and spiritually imprisoned. Free yourself!
Your life is not any more or less valuable, depending on your relationship status.
You are not more or less of a woman based upon when or even IF you give birth. Look at Oprah.
Take a listen to this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=igCj3jsbcqs
God bless you!
xoxo
Faye.
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